Need...to...play...golf...

Salam dear dada

Yeay! my first email for the new year 2007!

it has been 11 months and 11 days since i knew you.

When i reflect, a lot has happened!

I cried tears of joy and tears of sadness.. and also
fears.

remember how we first met at lau pa sat? i was really
disheveled and rather pissed at your constant calls to
meet you at bukit gombak mrt earlier than usual. 

i was amused that you wanted to see my mother..i was
wondering what the hell he wanted to see my mother
for?

remember when you offered your hand for me to hold? i
reject it.. hehe

remember your first chinese new year with me? I was
wearing my favourite rose aoyai. you were wearing your
black sleeveless shirt, khaki bermudas and torn shoes!
got to see your arms lah!! didnt know they were that
muscular! hehe

remember that we held hands throughout the whole
night! and we talked till 4am!

remember the time u met my mother for the first time.
i was sooo anxious. it was the first time that my
mother met my first boyfriend. i was sooo lost and
embarrassed!

remember the first time we talked about marriage? i
remembered you said that you would never convert in
front of Masjid Sultan and i was telling myself
probably it was time to find another date!! hehehe

remember you bought me a rose! a beautiful red rose
that i will remember. nothing beat that rose! i miss
your roses!

remember that you wanted to break off with me via
email. it was sooo hurting to know that you gave up on
me. it still hurts when u want to break off with me
whenever we quarrel. please dont do that...

remember the time you converted? it was 050506. such
auspicious date! hehe.. i was sooo proud of you but i
didnt imagine the challenges which lie ahead for u n
me. the mother of all challenges .. fasting in
Ramadhan

remember Ramadhan, where we were tested till we almost
broke up.  i was in despair. only Allah could hear my
tears and prayers during that time.

I know that you were tethered too. you lost your track
of rhyme and reason. 

Alhamdullilah we met friends like Pak Ali, Pak Rahman,
Rosli, Shirin and many more who humbled our fasting
month..

remember when we discussed about buying a home! I was
very surprised actually. coz i thot you wanted to do
it much later.  but Alhamdulllilah we have what we
wanted!

remember the feelings of joy and happiness in this
relationship?

Alhamdullilah.. Allah bless me with forgetfulness that
i always remember the happy times we had, having and
will have..

remember on 311206, at my dad's place. we discuss
about my friends, socio economical situation and many
more. i love having discussions like that with you and
i want more of that! 

I love a man who can intellectually, physicall and
emotionally stimulate me and that man is YOU!

You have always been the best friend, lover and
confidante that I have dreamt of. 

I want events and things to remember about this
relationship... 

i want a life with you...

lots of love, laughs
Suraya 
**********************************************************************************************

How can I not fall in love with her over & over & over again? 


Her  method of writing and style may be simple, but simple's all that's needed. Her words
never fail to warm my heart, her touch goes deep beyond the flesh and skin. Insya Allah, we will
build our family on His Word.

I do love Suraya. But I wonder why she loves me back. It's funny. We were on the bus this
afternoon, on our way to Joraimi's house when I asked her if she thought I was the one for her. And
if I was the best person there is for her.

Not for self gratification, but really for the need to know. She doesn't say much,especially about
how she feels. Most of the time, I would need to reflect for the both of us. I would need to constantly
ask her how's she's feeling. It's not too hard to see if she's uncomfortable about something. Her
facial expression can never hide it. Alhamdulilah! I know she's the one for me.

I do my best in everything I do. I never give up... or so it seems. Oxy-moron? Maybe. May also be
the fact that I give up on myself instead of giving up on her as she's mentioned. I'm a task oriented
person. Intangibles, in the past, did not have an impact on the way I do things. It's always"Show me
the money!".

I can't wait to get married. I can't wait for us to spend quiet afternoons together. I can't wait for us to
fall asleep in each other's arms, though I know that she moves alot when she sleeps (I've seen her
nap in CG. Not a pretty sight - especially when the dolls are found all over the floor).


I do love her. And I question myself many times over. For 31 years, a person've been alone, or
rather, by herself most of the time. One day, I come along and know that she is the girl for me.
Although I make the first move, but as many of her friends have rightfully commented (not that I care
 one bit), I am, but a total stranger. What could possibly motivate someone as wonderful as her to
commit her whole life to me? After all, the words I say are just... words. I knew I've to prove myself.
And I understand the challenges of being in a relationship as well.

Here's someone who's giving me all the trust her life has ever known (committing to a complete
stranger in a few months is a lot to ask, even if I did convert faster that anyone can say "Kiki the
Magic Monkey". She trust me that I'll not hurt her by saying mean words. She trusts that I'll not betray
her by having an affair with another girl. She trust me that I respect her religion and commit to the
Islamic way, regardless of how tough it  is. She trusts me with these, and more. Insya Allah, I will live
up to all her expectations.

I owe her much, much more than anyone could ever imagine. For loving me and being willing to
start a family with me in such a short time. Insya Allah, I will be a good husband for Suraya.

I want to give her the best that I can ever offer. I want to give her more than what I can give her. The
pressure does not come from providing, it comes from not being able to provide. A person as
wonderful as Suraya has dared me to give the same confidence she has given me. Insya Allah, I'll
be able to fulfill her expectations. I love you babe.

In these weeks, we've been sharing ideas on managing our money, a virgin topic to her. I am very
proud of her, knowing that she's totally clueless about these matters, but making an effort to learn.
And I am pleasantly surprised that she's doing well. Today we spoke about increasing our property
portfolio. I'm so happy (though i didn't show it) that the numbers no longer seemed big to her, but
somewhat manageable, Alhamdulilah!

I've seen in many households, both husband and wife have to work to provide for the lifestyles they
think they want. The key operative word here is "Think". How can it be a lifestyle that anyone would
want if they're committed too deep to fully enjoy the things that's been committed?

Would  you be able to fully appreciate a designer house if you've to spend the next 5 years paying
for it, knowing that they cannot afford to be out of a job. If they do, no one would ever pay them the
same salary because their experiences are "non-transferable".

Alhamdulilah! From the very start we both decided that we'd just want things simple. Simple house,
simple lifestyle. Simple everything. I truly thank Allah for being able to allow me alone to work, and
be able to afford the house and all that we desire. Insya Allah, I would continue to be blessed.  

jahwsl
0352
02 Dec 07'