Can't believe I'm 32
Su loves those "fish muruku". Thought I'd get some for her. Eventually ended up with:
a bag of Mamee
a box of Cowhead biscuits (milk cream thingy)
a box of Lexus Peanut Butter biscuits
For me:
a box of Apollo Chocolate Cake
a pack of prawn crackers
Got them at CK department store @ Chinatown & Sheng Siong @ Haig Road. I love going grocery shopping. Well, I love to entertain, and I like to cook. More than anything, I've this thing about presentation. The eyes must be satisfied first before the stomach. Instant gratification... or abstinence, whichever way you look at it. But I only do so in Singapore though. Well, Thailand too, but I really only get toiletries there. I'll bring my great big empty Samsonite luggage and fill it with shower gel, hair dye, tooth pastes, shampoos, etc... One load can last me a year! I shit you not!
I hate being apart from Su, for whatever reason. It just feels shitty. I'm so used to having her around. But the biggest difference between us is that I've fewer than 5 friends here. She probably has 5 battalions.
Alhamdulilah, we both completed our fast today. But not before a small lil' fight (hor dear?). She was to have a gathering with her expedition friends, and it was kinda like a last minute thingy. So she suggetsed that we break fast together, then she go hang out with them. I blew my top. I fasted with her for 3 days (today being her last pay-back), and all she wanted to do was break fast with me then dump me for her friends?! Argh!!!
She was nice to cook dinner and pacify me. Sigh. I know I've gone overboard. I've become too "sticky". I've always encouraged her to have and be with her friends. With me included. But I also realise that that cannot happen everytime. So all I ask is give me some warning and I'll make some plans. Sigh... but even then, I really do miss her. What's wrong with me? It's not that I am in need of company all the time. But things have changed for me in a big way since I met her.
Before meeting Su, I've never saw the need to hang out. If I did, I'd done it by myself. I would go to the library, Starbucks, Cold Storage or Sheng Siong. I could spend hours by myself. Or like any other times, I would be in church, or just cleaning the house. I never saw the need to be in the company of humans. Afterall, since my days of travels, I've always been alone. I somehow prefer to speak to plants or animals. Non-judgemental and their affection's unconditional. But Alhhamdulilah, my social circle's getting wider.
From my outlook, one (or rather most of you who know or met me personally) would think that I have a large circle of friends. Well, yes and no. I've many friends in Indonesia, Malaysia andd Thailand. Not really much friends in Singapore. Probably because I've seen the difference between the people here and elsewhere. You could say that many of the people here are influenced by the quick pace of life here. Whereas, elsewhere, people do take their time to do almost everything.
But Alhamdulilah! I've met very nice people here too! Pak Ali, Rosli & Sheeren, Fauz, Pak Osman, Pak Joraimi, Safie, Pak Rahman, Mr. Cement Mixer Driver and alll those whom I forgot their names or forgot to give them nicknames (I call it picture association - associate the name with a picture aka nickname).
I don't know. I'm at a stage where I know what I want to be, but can't really see my social situation improving. It may also be that I would be turning 32 in a few hours. And each brithday, I would be depressed and spend time alone with myself. But this year, Alhamdulilah, I've Su & her mother to celebrate it with me. Alhamdulilah! Honestly, I'm not too excited about it. 32 and nothing happening for me. I do feel useless. I've achieved nothing in life. This is the time of the year where you take a checklist and see how you've fared throughout the year.
I've done nothing. Instead, it's everyone else who's done things to or for me. Sigh... I do feel useless now...
jahwsl
22 Nov 06'
1134
a bag of Mamee
a box of Cowhead biscuits (milk cream thingy)
a box of Lexus Peanut Butter biscuits
For me:
a box of Apollo Chocolate Cake
a pack of prawn crackers
Got them at CK department store @ Chinatown & Sheng Siong @ Haig Road. I love going grocery shopping. Well, I love to entertain, and I like to cook. More than anything, I've this thing about presentation. The eyes must be satisfied first before the stomach. Instant gratification... or abstinence, whichever way you look at it. But I only do so in Singapore though. Well, Thailand too, but I really only get toiletries there. I'll bring my great big empty Samsonite luggage and fill it with shower gel, hair dye, tooth pastes, shampoos, etc... One load can last me a year! I shit you not!
I hate being apart from Su, for whatever reason. It just feels shitty. I'm so used to having her around. But the biggest difference between us is that I've fewer than 5 friends here. She probably has 5 battalions.
Alhamdulilah, we both completed our fast today. But not before a small lil' fight (hor dear?). She was to have a gathering with her expedition friends, and it was kinda like a last minute thingy. So she suggetsed that we break fast together, then she go hang out with them. I blew my top. I fasted with her for 3 days (today being her last pay-back), and all she wanted to do was break fast with me then dump me for her friends?! Argh!!!
She was nice to cook dinner and pacify me. Sigh. I know I've gone overboard. I've become too "sticky". I've always encouraged her to have and be with her friends. With me included. But I also realise that that cannot happen everytime. So all I ask is give me some warning and I'll make some plans. Sigh... but even then, I really do miss her. What's wrong with me? It's not that I am in need of company all the time. But things have changed for me in a big way since I met her.
Before meeting Su, I've never saw the need to hang out. If I did, I'd done it by myself. I would go to the library, Starbucks, Cold Storage or Sheng Siong. I could spend hours by myself. Or like any other times, I would be in church, or just cleaning the house. I never saw the need to be in the company of humans. Afterall, since my days of travels, I've always been alone. I somehow prefer to speak to plants or animals. Non-judgemental and their affection's unconditional. But Alhhamdulilah, my social circle's getting wider.
From my outlook, one (or rather most of you who know or met me personally) would think that I have a large circle of friends. Well, yes and no. I've many friends in Indonesia, Malaysia andd Thailand. Not really much friends in Singapore. Probably because I've seen the difference between the people here and elsewhere. You could say that many of the people here are influenced by the quick pace of life here. Whereas, elsewhere, people do take their time to do almost everything.
But Alhamdulilah! I've met very nice people here too! Pak Ali, Rosli & Sheeren, Fauz, Pak Osman, Pak Joraimi, Safie, Pak Rahman, Mr. Cement Mixer Driver and alll those whom I forgot their names or forgot to give them nicknames (I call it picture association - associate the name with a picture aka nickname).
I don't know. I'm at a stage where I know what I want to be, but can't really see my social situation improving. It may also be that I would be turning 32 in a few hours. And each brithday, I would be depressed and spend time alone with myself. But this year, Alhamdulilah, I've Su & her mother to celebrate it with me. Alhamdulilah! Honestly, I'm not too excited about it. 32 and nothing happening for me. I do feel useless. I've achieved nothing in life. This is the time of the year where you take a checklist and see how you've fared throughout the year.
I've done nothing. Instead, it's everyone else who's done things to or for me. Sigh... I do feel useless now...
jahwsl
22 Nov 06'
1134
posted by Jeremy Amir Hamzah Wong Sheh Liang | 11:19 pm
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