Strawberry Shortcake

Tomatoe rice with lotsa spicy curry, mutton, chicken & vegetables! OMG!!! The cooks at Al-Falah must really be in a good mood! It's the 6 days to go to the big feast!!! Yippee! Why the fuck am I so happy? I'm not going anywhere, not meeting anyone, and I think I'll not participate in the festivities. But I made it through it now (sans the 7 days), and I think I can make it straight! Yeah! the fuck with the visiting! My first fasting month and I think I did pretty all right, don't you? I'm still alive, and I didn't kill anyone. Yeah!

Uneventful day. Well... not so uneventful. Many things happened, but not directly related to me. The major thing that really struck me was how badly Su wanted to keep this relationship. The month of fasting has brought about many tests and trials. I burnt out mid-way. Ok, for the benefit of you all who'e just started to know both Su & me, thank you for reading my humble writings. I'll make this as short as I can:

I met Su late in Jan 06'. We dated and I proposed to her sometime end Feb. Weird ah? Nope... that's just me. I never let a good thing go. I think I've a whole lifetime to learn about her. Attributes does matter... but only the important ones. Thes rest can be compromised. No one is fucking perfect, not even me! I converted to Islam in May, a short 3 months of courtship. There you have it. For more details, please read the history of this blog.

She did have her apprehensions. She did try to communicate it with me, but I brushed it off. My question is this: I am Chinese. I am non-muslim. What's the fucking law to get married? I must convert right? Ok. There's your answer. Another point of view is: Would you rather date a muslim or a non-muslim. Two - zero, to me. I did not take her warnings of burn-out seriously enough, after all, no one tries harder than me. Ok, fuck that.

I did burn out. But for all the wrong reasons. I did not let those mother fuckers at the mosque affect my day. Instead, it was me who gave them a hard time (I'm a sucker for confrontations & I especially LOVE it when the odds are against me). You cannot call me a bully, because I am not in my element. I am a minority race and I do not speak the language. So fuck you if you think you can have your way with me. Ok, pai seh... releasing steam. Where were we? Oh... ok...

She did tell me I was going at a fast pace. Most people would take a couple of years to convert, not to mention having the idea of getting married. I did not. I took everything as express as I could. Fuck the rules and fuck the norms. I am not normal. I do not conform. And I do not take advices from ass-wipes. Simple. If I want something badly enough, I'll get it.

Our relationship had it's ups and downs, but we still managed to keep it strong. She did a really nice thing today. It melted me straight into a puddle of pussy juice. She kissed me. Not that we've not kissed before. But she initiated it. OMG!!! This has never happened before. I was touched. Su does not don a tudung, but she is more religious than people who do. Try telling her it's all right to miss a prayer. She'll walk off. Never happened to me, because I am the one who tolerates these things. I am patient in that sense of the word. I do not question the neccesity of it neither do I condone or condemm it (it is easy to condemm something you have no fucking knowledge about), I just let her do what she wanna do. No ffucking big deal. The problem lies with me. I am not a liberal, but neither am I extreme. I do form my own opinions, but only after I educate myself with the tools of knowledge. I would like to think that I am the type of person who does not shoot my mouth off.

Well... with all the above nonsense said, I did lose my temper and cool during this fasting month. I will be the first to admit, I did not complete the BCI (Beginners Course in Islam) or the Prayer Classes for Beginners. But I fucking converted anyway. No one could stop me! Choo Choo! But I was not prepared physically, mentally and emotionally for the fast. Granted it's no big deal now (you should've seen me throw my tantrums with my little feet stomping and my pretty lips pouting). I went head in and I struggled for air. As though it's not enough... I had to settle my communication problems with Su.

She was sweet to pull me close to her and plant a soft sweet kiss on me. I am grateful. I love you... Thank you for coming out of your shell and comfort zone to make this "Cina Tok tok" feel loved.

jahwsl
0118
17 Oct 06'