Balls to the walls

Why can't I just be the person that I am? Why does it seem that everyone is looking to change who I am? I am Amir Hamzah! I am the protector of my peoples and the flag bearer of my tribe. I charge into battle to slay my enemy who's determination is to kill me and eat my beating heart. But I give quarters to prisoners who surrender themselves because I strongly believe everyone deserves a second or even three chances. Failure is acceptable.

My motivation in life is to be the best that I can be. I do trample along the way, but I also recognise to play the game well. Granted, I've been lucky enough to be spared from much office politics (I just don't give a shit), I still experience it somehow. Working in one of the largest MNCs in the world has plenty of that.

Me taking matters into my own hands by verbally abusing others is wrong, or so it has been told to me. Don't I need to protect myself? I need to focus when I pray don't I? I don't need any religious authority to guard me or protect me, I hold my own pretty well thank you. I do not need to cry to teacher saying that I have been pushed. Well... I push back! But when I retaliate, do not come crying to me, after all, it was you who had the sense to push me in the first place. I do not enter the mosque so that I can please you. You mean nothing to me. It is Allah Whom I worship.

All right... my actions do not seem befitting of a muslim. It's all right. The fuck I care. I'm still learning mah! If you don't like to read this, place your cursor on the top right corner of the screen and left click. For those of you who are still engaging, thank you for your patience.

During the holy month of Ramadan, a muslim is severely tested, or so it seems. I've been. And today, I've been told that I am a muslim by choice. Weird feeling. The first time it's been said in my face. Bitter sweet after taste, that. Anyway, of course the people I've been tormenting are the ones suffering.Or are they? I know Su suffers. We always have fights about this. She doesn't want me to pick a fight with anyone, but yet she knows that I would only fight back if I am provoked. Now... be true to myself or to sail to her desires. I wish it was an easy decision to make. It isn't.

Being aggressive is not my definately not my definitive or identifying trademark. I would like to think it would be million dollar smile or my lovely brown eyes. Ok, not those either. I do not pick a fight with everyone I meet. In fact, I enjoy fun,laughter, peace & joy as much as the next person. I really do. My sense of humor rivals that of Jerry Seinfield or well... sometimes, Benny Hill (may Allah bless his soul). Now you see the combination ah... I am only aggressive with focused objectives and target that I have set for myself. I aim high... Unlike a regular gangster, I do not do it for the money or glory or fame or the "Karaoke Girls" (in the true words of Shashi - "Like macam taxi run over"). Nope... no sleaze for me. I'm muslim.

Asking me to be patient when I encounter the devil in his many forms - Mr. Ass Wipe, Guy in a Tie in DA, Old man in purple in Darul Aman - is like asking someone to slap my face, and asking for seconds... Wait!!! Wait one fucking minute!!! Isn't this what Islam is all about? Not face slapping... Forgiving... ah... KNN... nearly forgot... Fucking good muslim I am ah. Nah beh chicken...

Why do I need to forgive? Because Allah says so dumb fuck! Judge not, lest ye wishes to be judged. Ok... know what? You fucks can have a rally time with me. You can call me insincere (ya you Ass Wipe), you can attempt to push me (you too Guy in a tie aka the soles of my feet looks better than you) and who can forget fucking old man.. yes you.. half dead drenched in purple-puny-fucked-ass sorry-son-of-a-bitch-whose-best-excuse-for-living-ended-up-as-a-brown-stain-on-your-
momma's-matteress.

You can all take your shots at me. I'll be so fucking god damm patient you can all come together. After all, you cowards need a big strong group to tackle a convert who's brave enough to take a walk on the dark side right? 3 cowards don't match one hero (wah! Now I become hero! I like!!!). Come on! Bring it on!!! I like it when the odds are against me! BRING IT ON!!! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!! MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SONS OF MOTHERLESS GOATS!

Whew... that was a mouthful! Typing it is even harder than saying it! But it's been an eye-opening experience. Take all the blows at me that you want you fucking "chinese converts hating born muslims" (not all ah... anyway... almost all of you are nice what... only applicable to those who aren't). Uncle Amir'll show you what a real man is made of! *It is said, sometimes it takes more of a man to walk away, then to stay and fight*

Wassalam to all....

jahwsl
1130
12 Oct 06'