Mee Soto? Mee Rebus? Or Mee?

I've been going "Commando" for the past couple of weeks. From the time Su said it was all right not to wear undies (I don't wear briefs, I only wear my comfy boxers) for prayers, as long as I cover my belly and knees. Ok... you said it! SInce that day, the frequency of rotating my undies have dropped to less than 3 a week. Kind of reminds me of the time we were training in Brunei. Not because I liked it, but because I forgot to bring an extra one. And I was fed up of rotating the front to the back every couple of days (yup... was as dirty as you can imagine. And no... the army doesn't provide you with showers... all the time) and changing them with my buddy. Forgot how it felt. But now... I love going "Commando"! Yeah!!!

Today we decided to go kampung Siglap mosque to break fast (yes... I made it through another day... thank you for your prayers...) Did not decide by then whether to continue with Teraweh or just go to Bedok to have some mee rebus and mee soto (I usually have both - eating with me is not for the faint-hearted). Thought it'd be a better idea to just talk about it again when we met after mahgrib. On the way there, I was telling myself how I wish Pak Ali (the nice gentleman who was very happy to see me the first time I was there) would be there. He did say he's there every night, but somehow there's always a possibility that things may crop up. Man plans, but God decides.

Su & I sat outside the main prayer hall. And guess who decided to turn up? Mr. Ass Wipe!!! Wahaha! I pointed him out to her. He did a good job of avoiding me. Never even looked in my direction. Good thing, cos the Imam was there collecting zakat & I was sure as hell willing to confront. Playing the fool with me is like playing craps. You roll the dice and you take your chances. The thing about me is I am never afraid of creating a scene. I can raise my voice as loud as I like and never feel embaressed about it. That's me. Bring it on dude!

About half and hour to prayer time, both of us went in the prayer hall. And guess who called me?! Mr. Ali! I was so so happy!!! We talked and talked like long lost friends newly found! He even reserved a seat for me to eat beside him! Where can you find such a buddy like that???!!! I am truly humbled and touched by his sincerity. He was telling me how much improvement I made. Ok, this hit me as hard as it is hitting you I guess. How could he know? After all, the last time we met was last week! His theory: "The first time I saw you, you go straight for the rice. I offer you dates, you don't even want. Finish all the food and want some more. Today, you eat just enough and eat dates also. See? You improve what! Ahamduilah!" OMG!!! This guy is so encouraging!

When it was time for dusk prayer, guess what? Pak Ali pulled me and said: "See! Your friend is here also!!!" It was the rolly polly man whom we all shared our plate of food the first time I was there! Wow!!! The best break fast session I ever had!!! Truly! And Su managed to catch them from upstairs. Bet not many people have as much fun as me right!!!

And guess what somemore???!!! I was stood beside Ass Wipe for prayers!Wah lau eh!!! KNN!!! I am so so so lucky today!!! He shoke the hand of the guy on his right. When he extended his hand to me to shake, I think I scared him off! Being the gentleman that I was, I shook it, and gave him a "Fuck you Ass Wipe" stare (he didn't realise it was me to begin with). After prayers ended (before the part where we can all sit crossed-legged), he left the line. When the full prayers ended, he was sitting behind chanting on his beads. Ass Wipe! Dare to judge me but run at the crack of my whip?! Good boy. Stay there.

Although I did agree to meet Su outside right after duck prayers, I somehow ended up talking to Pak Ali. The conversation was interesting. Mostly me wanting to find out how he controls his temper during the fasting month. He reads alot of Dale Carnegie. Kidding me! I went for the 3 day company sponsored course that costs > $1,500 and I learnt nothing except to shout very loudly "I can do it!" & punch air (didn't know you could punch air so hard). His threshold for tolerance is not high, but his discipline is. Never saw it from that way. Offered to look after my lappie when I went out to see Su. Decided (I have been using a lot of the word "decide" haven't I?) to take a step where I have never gone before. Teraweh. Ok... balls to the walls gentlemen. This is the real deal. But fortunately for me, instead of 23 (or is it 22), today's session was 8. There's a visiting teacher who was invited to give a talk, and well... my discounted session. Whew...

I got to be honest. It's really boring. The prayers are long and ALL of the time, except when I say Amin, I have no idea what is being said. That's all well and fine. Just don't expect anything from me.

I'll let you in on a little secret. It hit me like a sledgehammer while I was talking to Pak Ali. Know how I say I never believe in collecting points or rewards? Well.. I still don't. But ironically, Pak Ali told me something that stuck that many people tried telling me without any success. Allah is forgiving. He's not the type who'll pin you to the things you did or the things you said. In short, He's not like me. He's greater (ok, we all figured that out already). HE FORGIVES!!! ME INCLUDED!!! AHAMDUILILAH!!! I felt so cleansed today. I feel special. The feeling of peace & calm filled me tonight. I bless and thank God for His mercy. I don't care about Ass Wipe. That mother fucker's day will come. All I know now is that I am forgiven. No matter how many times I fall or sin, I AM FORGIVEN!!! But I would like to see that no matter how hard I try to force things, be it His will on not, I am forgiven (I don't sin - I am as perfect as they come).

In business and in life, I never look to Him for help when I need it. I tell myself that I should do it myself. After all, I create it, and therefore I must clean it up. It is only in good times that I spend more time in church (then) and pray more. For whatever I have is given by His grace. I have been greatly humbled today. I have been absolved (even if it's not true, I felt it - so it's gotta be true!) from my ignorance and arrogance. I have truly been blessed.

Dear Allah, I thank you from the bottom of my shallow heart for the love you have shown me. You have shown me Your divine will by placing Pak Ali in my circle of friends. I thank you with all my heart. I thank you for giving Su the patience to bear with my nonsense and arrogance. Till tonight, I thought I know all I needed to know. You have blessed me with the wisdom to see my stupidity (make me smarter from now all right? Please? Please?). Su, among other people have been giving me lessons on the importance of gathering Your rewards. I now see it as rewards for Your divine forgiveness. I ask that you bless each and everyone who has prayed for me, including Pak Ali (even if he does not pray as hard for me, please bless him and his family for he has shown me Your insight - bless him and all of us many many, please). Grant me the wisdom to seek knowledge, the charity to forgive, the strength to follow the path of the Prophet swt (just dont' make me like dates too much), the courage to fight off my enemies and all the virtues of a true muslim. You know best Allah, being a muslim is easy. Say a few words, sign on the dotted line and slice of the fore-skin. Being a GOOD muslim is way more than that. I do not have that long a fore-skin, so I ask for all things other than that, which is needed for me to excel... and show all these born-muslims what it takes! You are great as You are infinite. I love you. *Muah*

p.s. please give me the strength to make my fast 1 week straight ok???!!! Please lah... Su promised me a pweasent!!! AND WE ALL KNOW HOW I LOVE PWEASENTS!!!

jahwsl
1244
10 Oct 06'