Durians & Mooncakes should not go together...

Ahamduililah! The dinner was not as bad as I had expected. Su's mother was friendly today (was it because she wasn't feeling well? Maybe... but why am I putting obstacles in front of me? Just take things as they are...).

I managed to full-fast today, despite the fact that I wanted to give up by 430pm. Woke up at about 1130, dilly dallied, then went took a short walk to NTUC @ Coronation Plaza. Took a real short walk back and managed to get home by 2pm. Was feeling really restless. Calle Su to bitch to her and hopefully get some of her attention by ...(ok... said too much. This is personal), but she was prepping her famous langsana. She didn't manage to call me back till about 315pm. But by then, I was already telling myself I should make a trip to Ba'alwi, to do my Ashr prayers (and my Suhr & Zohor prayers too... you know me... like to gather all my prayers and release them to God in one barrage).

Spent an hour there and came back dead tired. Somehow, I seemed magnetised to my sofa. Fell asleep till about 530pm... then suddenly everything went into gear. I had less than an hour to prep for dinner (ok... I may work fast in the kitchen, but today, I was SOOOOOO LAZYYYYY). I was still dreading the moment when both mother & daughter would come.

Managed to boil Su's fav barely (only I can do it the way she likes... *cheeky laugh*), marinate the chicken & fish. Tried a new recipe batter (not too bad, will sell it if the price is right) and was only left with the final dish when mother and daughter arrived - Chilli (Red Hot) Fish. The chilli was just the way I wanted it. Hot and deadly.

Her mother greeted me, I didn't notice they came in because I was in the kitchen trying to get all the marinate into the cooker. And know what? I changed into my Armani long sleeved shirt too! Quite a looker today! (So fuck it if I am singing my own praises! My blig mah!!!)

Dinner proper went well I guess. Small talk, big laughs. Non confrontational. Very friendly atmosphere. Honestly, I held back. Is this my defence or am I just being too suspicious that no one can change that fast. I admit that even after dinner, I did not give her too much credit for her efforts. I sincerely want things to be better, but I just don't know how? How do I manage a future in-law whom I had a bad brush with? How do I try then? The only person in Su's family that I really get along with and care about is her uncle Yuosoff. His sincerity is child-like, and his personality pleasant. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he is one of the better people I've met in my whole life. And for that, I am grateful. For a person who is not worldly-wise, I have learnt a great deal of humility from him. Happy birthday brudder! At 50, life's just beginning... you just have to hang around me to learn how to enjoy yourself dude!

I do hope you're happy with today, afterall, you badly wanted for this to happen. Although you did not participate in much of the dinner conversation. I am glad, that as a boyfriend, I managed to suck up and swallow my pride for the one person who swept me off my feet (I hope to enter a blog on how we met... you guys would find it so incredulous that she didn't think of me as "hot" initially. Need to ask her though, she's in Geylang with her mother now... He mother suggested to leave early because she has the runs. AND NOW THEY'RE IN GEYLANG???!!!)

I know that life with me hasn't been the greatest. My principles and actions probably struck you with the force of a sledge hammer. But I hold true to what I said in the past. I will do my best to make each and every single day a day of courtship. Too many people take their partners for granted. Your parents did & so did mine.

I want to:
1) sing my hokkien song to you everyday, not because I like it, but because I enjoy seeing you amused by it;
2) tickle you in the right spots that make you cringe because it's one of the few occasions you scream out loud;
3) fall asleep on my thigh when I am brushing your forehead because you stopped having that the moment you grew up;
4) hold you tight because I never want you to feel alone when you have joy or sorrow to share;
5) look at you when you sleep because you're the prettiest girl I'd ever laid my eyes (I've perfect vision by the way. The specs are just for cosmetics) on;
6) carry your bag, not because it's the fashionable thing to do, but because it hurts me to see you shoulder a heavy load;
7) be beside you when you study for you exams because I can make coffee for you in a flash;

I am proud of you for having the courage to be the person you are. Most people conform. They lose their identity. They "become". You are the only person who "remained". I am proud of you for being patient and strong in our baptism of fire. Your have remained true to your words, that you'll never leave me. I am greatly humbled. I am proud that you took the challenge to look after your dad, where many never even answered the call, and also asked for my help, for there is no greater joy than to fulfll one's commitement to family. I am proud of you for telling me what you want, because in an open and trusting relationship, there should not be lesser truths.

Perpetuate me with your loving kindess (just remember to wash your hands after you play with the cats though), and fill me with your faith in God. We may differ in thoughts, words and deeds, but this is the beauty of it all. To give in and give up, that is what true love is. I am grateful that we have none of those, "I do this for you, therefore...". Those are fucks. Their relationship is based on favours of returns. You owe me nothing. I owe you my life. You have shown me true spirit.

Although I converted, I did it willingly. I do not expect you to love me back nor did I expect you to feel obligated. If it works out, it works out. At least we can say we tried, and tried hard. I would rather die today, knowing that I have gave you my all, then wait for the rest of my life thinking "if only". I never want to lose you through my own failings. If there is another party, I'll fight for you (I'll fight with him). I'll die trying. That is my motto in life. You of all people should know that. I never give up and I never give in. The whole fucking world can be against me (fact is, they are) but I stand my ground. My granny still asks about you and well.. we'll see if she can cook "halal" food. To her, rice wine is not wine. It's a condiment like vinegar.

Be blessed and be safe. I look forward to the day I marry you.

jahwsl
1019
08 Oct 06'