Butterflys
How can I possibly profess my love for Su? I tell you, this girl is really something. She's nice and sweet and I can say, with my hand on my heart... she's nothing like the people I've ever met in my life. Having been most parts of the world, I thought I had seen it all. Alhamdulilah! I Praise Allah for this wonderful gift, Insya Allah, she will perfect half of my religion for me!
Insya Allah, I will have the patience to tolerate her ways. For a start, even her mother notices our stark differences. I'm a neat freak, while she doesn't mind a mess. I am organised, while she finds the ability to work in clutter. I dress simply while she wants to make a statement. Alhamdulilah! This is the weirdest match I've ever seen!
She's seen the best and the worst in me in the short year (actually less than that!) we've been together. In the first month I met her, I knew I wanted to marry her. Ya, she's clumsy, doesn't have a way with words (not face to face at least), but her heart is pure and sincere. She's wonderfully caring to children and animals. She's been through so much in her life. Being with her makes you accept certain things.
After marriage prep class today, we learnt the difference between caring and loving. And the sweetest thing came from her lips. She said that probably the reason she's taking care of her dad is because she cares for him, and not because she loves him. I was a little taken aback. Nothing of that sort! She loves him! Any fool can see! And I love her for loving him enough to care for him! She was confused about their relationship but I never doubted it. I am so proud of her. That's the kind of person she is. She down plays her efforts and takes less credit than her due. Most people I know, including myself, are the opposite. How can I not fall in love over and over and over...
Being with her, as imperfect as she claims she is, somehow makes me feel lesser of a person. I am not as forgiving (Insya Allah, I will be), depending on the situation, do not take things at face value, am arrogant and all things bad. I pray Dear Allah that You bless me to be a good muslim. Please... please...
At work, I may be the joker who can switch faces as soon as there's a need. I can be as serious, firm and tough with suppliers and co-workers alike. But looking at her and the way she works brings me to shame. For many things that I want, I use force. Her gentleness opens up more doors than I could ever use with my vocal and physical strength.
We had her fitting for the baju nikar done this afternoon. It didn't turn out too great. But looking at her wearing it somehow melts my heart. This wonderful person is taking a chance to be with a jerk like me (ok... I know many of you are waiting for me to admit I am a jerk). Alhamdulilah! She's so beautiful!
You all should've seen her, figetting in her clothes. Although we decided that we're not going to use this material (we're going to Exclusive in Tampoi to do a selection on Thursday, Insya Allah), she's prettier than any bride I've ever seen. And well... not all brides are pretty. Hahaha.. which brings to mind... She's always so shy and unwilling to accept the praises that I comment on her beauty. The best thing about Su is she's pretty. She doesn't follow conventional trends (which is why I say she's always wanting to make a statement with her clothes!). I've seen her friends who do, and I can safely say that those are the people I would never take a second look (they'll be lucky if I even do look or notice them) if we meet on the street.
I am so blessed with Su. I wholeheartedly feel that marrying her will truly bring me back to my Fitrah. Many have noticed the change in me. Many doubt it's sustanability, but they do see the positive changes. I never thought, many months ago, that I would be with someone who values prayer, be it compulsory or optional, as eager as me to fulfil our religious obligations, values friendships and family ties strongly and the constant search to be a better person. Alhamdulilah! For a start, I never thought I would give up punting on horses! Although it's more of a hobby to me, I never got to see the evils of it, even though I would think I manage it well. Anything my darling asks of me, I will attempt the best of my ability, Insya Allah.
Her willingness to accept new concepts in communication between us is noteworthy. I've never seen anyone try so hard in a relationship. Trying does not mean giving in. Giving in means you do not want to make things better. Relationships such as these can manage for only the short term. And during this time, the ability to share is highly limited, because of fear. The fear to irritate or antagonise. Su is the only girl who accepts that I only fight back when my tail gets stepped on. Others think I am aggressive when I retaliate. And well, back in those days, I would never give up my battering even when I get what I want. I would continue to bash and steal whatever spoils I could afford. Alhamdulilah, she taught me mercy and forgiveness. It was tough. It was very tough. It still is tough. 32 years of unlearning takes some time. Insya Allah, I will manage. Insya Allah.
Many cannot accept or take no for an answer when I do not wanna go on dates. To many, it seems impossible that I am in a serious relationship, not to mention I look forward to marrying this lady. I wonder as well, at times, whether I am aware of what I'm getting myself into! But looking at the track record, I convert for her sake, for the sake of her not being in a relationship not knowing whether I am interested in her or her physical self. I jumped in blindly, and came out alive... very much enjoying my newly founded spritual life! Alhamdulilah! Insya Allah, this marriage will last... even after forever... because forever's too short...
jahwsl
1227
15 Jan 07'
Insya Allah, I will have the patience to tolerate her ways. For a start, even her mother notices our stark differences. I'm a neat freak, while she doesn't mind a mess. I am organised, while she finds the ability to work in clutter. I dress simply while she wants to make a statement. Alhamdulilah! This is the weirdest match I've ever seen!
She's seen the best and the worst in me in the short year (actually less than that!) we've been together. In the first month I met her, I knew I wanted to marry her. Ya, she's clumsy, doesn't have a way with words (not face to face at least), but her heart is pure and sincere. She's wonderfully caring to children and animals. She's been through so much in her life. Being with her makes you accept certain things.
After marriage prep class today, we learnt the difference between caring and loving. And the sweetest thing came from her lips. She said that probably the reason she's taking care of her dad is because she cares for him, and not because she loves him. I was a little taken aback. Nothing of that sort! She loves him! Any fool can see! And I love her for loving him enough to care for him! She was confused about their relationship but I never doubted it. I am so proud of her. That's the kind of person she is. She down plays her efforts and takes less credit than her due. Most people I know, including myself, are the opposite. How can I not fall in love over and over and over...
Being with her, as imperfect as she claims she is, somehow makes me feel lesser of a person. I am not as forgiving (Insya Allah, I will be), depending on the situation, do not take things at face value, am arrogant and all things bad. I pray Dear Allah that You bless me to be a good muslim. Please... please...
At work, I may be the joker who can switch faces as soon as there's a need. I can be as serious, firm and tough with suppliers and co-workers alike. But looking at her and the way she works brings me to shame. For many things that I want, I use force. Her gentleness opens up more doors than I could ever use with my vocal and physical strength.
We had her fitting for the baju nikar done this afternoon. It didn't turn out too great. But looking at her wearing it somehow melts my heart. This wonderful person is taking a chance to be with a jerk like me (ok... I know many of you are waiting for me to admit I am a jerk). Alhamdulilah! She's so beautiful!
You all should've seen her, figetting in her clothes. Although we decided that we're not going to use this material (we're going to Exclusive in Tampoi to do a selection on Thursday, Insya Allah), she's prettier than any bride I've ever seen. And well... not all brides are pretty. Hahaha.. which brings to mind... She's always so shy and unwilling to accept the praises that I comment on her beauty. The best thing about Su is she's pretty. She doesn't follow conventional trends (which is why I say she's always wanting to make a statement with her clothes!). I've seen her friends who do, and I can safely say that those are the people I would never take a second look (they'll be lucky if I even do look or notice them) if we meet on the street.
I am so blessed with Su. I wholeheartedly feel that marrying her will truly bring me back to my Fitrah. Many have noticed the change in me. Many doubt it's sustanability, but they do see the positive changes. I never thought, many months ago, that I would be with someone who values prayer, be it compulsory or optional, as eager as me to fulfil our religious obligations, values friendships and family ties strongly and the constant search to be a better person. Alhamdulilah! For a start, I never thought I would give up punting on horses! Although it's more of a hobby to me, I never got to see the evils of it, even though I would think I manage it well. Anything my darling asks of me, I will attempt the best of my ability, Insya Allah.
Her willingness to accept new concepts in communication between us is noteworthy. I've never seen anyone try so hard in a relationship. Trying does not mean giving in. Giving in means you do not want to make things better. Relationships such as these can manage for only the short term. And during this time, the ability to share is highly limited, because of fear. The fear to irritate or antagonise. Su is the only girl who accepts that I only fight back when my tail gets stepped on. Others think I am aggressive when I retaliate. And well, back in those days, I would never give up my battering even when I get what I want. I would continue to bash and steal whatever spoils I could afford. Alhamdulilah, she taught me mercy and forgiveness. It was tough. It was very tough. It still is tough. 32 years of unlearning takes some time. Insya Allah, I will manage. Insya Allah.
Many cannot accept or take no for an answer when I do not wanna go on dates. To many, it seems impossible that I am in a serious relationship, not to mention I look forward to marrying this lady. I wonder as well, at times, whether I am aware of what I'm getting myself into! But looking at the track record, I convert for her sake, for the sake of her not being in a relationship not knowing whether I am interested in her or her physical self. I jumped in blindly, and came out alive... very much enjoying my newly founded spritual life! Alhamdulilah! Insya Allah, this marriage will last... even after forever... because forever's too short...
jahwsl
1227
15 Jan 07'
posted by Jeremy Amir Hamzah Wong Sheh Liang | 11:53 pm
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