Care Bear Stare!!!

Woke up at 850am.. after a short nap from drinking some water to prep for the fast for the day at 530am (nearly missed the dateline by 3 minutes... whew). Got out of the house by 9am for a support group session for Parkinson's Diesease at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Today's session was about excercising for patients with PD. If you've not known by now,Su's dad is already in his advance stage. So what we're doing is trying to learn more about the diesease and how to manage her dad's illness better.

The session was very informative. Talks & demos on stretching, movement and dispelling myths. Overall, four thumbs up. Managed to clear some questions with the principal physiotherapist too. Got to interact with some people with PD too. Well.. not surprising to find me and a few of these old timers laughing at the top of our lungs. They just need to be treated like normal people, not like someone who's gone beyond the point of no return (which is the truth - a person who contract's PD will not get better, it's a matter of prolonging his mental well-being and sanity... something like that. I did not finish my Phd). Anyway, was joking with a couple who's husband contracted PD and was joking about how both of us should be physiotherapists, cause it takes at least 3 weeks to see one. It was there and then that I decided to become a part of the support group. At least I had the physical strength (Su & I were the youngest and bestest looking couple there). And I can cheer a depressed person relatively easily (and you people say I look and sound fierce... tsk tsk tsk..).

Caring for such a person is no easy task. Physically taxing on your body, and mentally trying for your mind. And we've not spoken about the emotional aspect of it. Many care-givers, from statistics, undergo depression. It's a really tough situation.

For the past 5 months or so, I've been visiting Su's dad almost on a weekly basis (I try to be there whenever she's there - to give her whatever moral support I can). I did not warm up to him immediately. In fact, it took me about 2 months just to go into his room and sit beside him. When Su asked me along for July's talk on things to avoid when feeding patients with PD, it dawned on me that her dad, over the long run, cannot be taken care by a maid. He must be taken care of by his own. Even if a maid looks after him, the very least is he needs to be with family. That's the cold hard fact.

I am not a filial son. Have never been. I told my dad when I was 14, that I would never cry for him when he died, and I would never go to his funeral or grave. To this day, I have done all that. Not that I am mean, but some things I can never forget. I never regret for not doing any of those things. If you remember, last year I attended 2 funerals, both in Indonesia. Like I said, I am sadden by it, but I hold no regrets. I have done my part, more than the rest of my siblings. And that is why I can sleep soundly at night. Anyway, I doubt he'd want me beside him on his deathbed.

A PD patient may halluciante, lose his sense of time and being, but he is no less a person. He is human. No matter what a person may have done in his life, with PD, it is a high price to extract. All should be forgiven, and all attempts to preseve the person's life, to end it with dignity should be executed. Although I may not be as filial as the person beside me, I recognise infiliality. Excuses such as being busy, too tired is all bull crap. Jesus once said (well as least something to this effect: When I am in prison, you visited me, when I am hungry, you gave me to eat, when I am thirsty, you gave me drink. Surely you are not far away from the Kingdom of God. Many people can find time to perfom lesser things, like visiting Ikea, shopping, watching soccer. Let's put it this way, if the same person contracted PD, I wonder how would their reaction be when no one comes to visit them. What goes around, comes around. I don't believe in destiny or fate, but karma could be divine supremacy.

For sometime now, we've been taking Su's dad for walks. I've been massaging him (he's heavy and big-boned, and every session takes me out flat) and speaking with him (though his slurred speech does make me laugh). Surprisingly, even though he thinks I am "Roy" (no fucking idea what the fuck a Roy is...), we laugh alot, both him and me... Today ended well enough. All three of us were dog tired. And you know the best part? He recognised the places that we brought him the previous time.

07 Oct 06'