You say Toe-Mah-Toe, I say Toh-Mae-Toh

I am grateful for the many calls, text messages and emails that I have gotten since the creation of this blog. I am grateful for the kind and encouraging words of these friends whom I never knew cared one bit about me. After all, I do not have many friends. And I am greatly humbled by your kind words.

For many of you, we have just met. Most probably, I am a friend of a friend whom we managed to get along, or a person whom have just caught my profile online and decided it was worth your time to read my writings. For all of you who shared your concerns, I am grateful. Maybe, I think, it's time to share a little of my life with you.

I never had the luxury to bragging rights about being born and initially bred in a kampung. I know many of you younger than me do. I was born in Kallang Airport. We then shifted to Geylang Bahru, then to St. George's. Well.. all around the Jalan Besar area anyway.

Life was all right initially. Money was not a big problem. We stayed with my dad's dad, who was a marine engineer (for an iliterate man, he done well in his life). His salary (hardship, allowances, etc) amounted to US$8,000 per month. Mind you, this was the early 80's. The only problem was, he was only back in Singapore for once or twice a year, each time for 3 weeks. His job was to inspect and repair/maintain/service cargo ships all over the world. He could be on an oil rig, or a mother vessel. But his life was mostly on the sea. Very unlike mine. I prefer it in the air on on land. Not a very sea person.

Life was all right... like I said. Grandmother then (I think she still is) a hardcore gambler. She's a nice little woman. Not very good at maintaining the house. But she tries her best... if she's not at the gambling den. By the way, they're both still alive and kicking... my long time running joke: I'll die before they do.

Now... mom and dad's a little weird. Let's start with dad (I call him pa... then the natural progression became "oi"). Handicapped at birth, he was a survivor (well.. most ACSians are! Yeah!). Never looked down on himself. But had a fiery temper, when he was sober. It's all right when he's drunk (which is half of his awakening time). Nonetheless, his mind is like a fireball of ideas. He was one of those people who "made things happen". After school days, he got into trouble, been jailed, smoked pot/grass, etc, you know... But he still managed to keep afloat... barely. When he got retrenched in 86 during the recession, he and mom made a living by taking a bus to Thailand, buying handbags and stuff, and selling it here to friends. They made a very good living...

His big break came when he found out that with his disability, he could get a hawker stall in almost anywhere at half the time and half the cost (Hardship case - another nice way of saying handicapp priority). His first stall at Sims Drive was boom boom boom. Thick bracelets and chains followed. Together with a lavish lifestyle of wine, women and song (he was a travellling musician). Mom stayed home to watchthe kids. As we got older, she helped out there too.

Next on the road, a canteen at Paya Lebar Air Force Base. I set it up with him. We had alot of god times there. Worked hard, and enjoyed life.

Mom, now mom was of an Arab descent (why my dad did not have to convert, I have no fucking idea). A nice and patient woman who stood by her husband and family and did not expect anything out of it. No nice words were needed. When something went wrong, it was "Mee!!!". Not as highly educated as my dad, she managed. And living with a typical Hainanese family (my grandparents spoke nothing but dialects those days... before they managed to speak mandarin), she was forced to communicate in the same language. Oh ya... she reads and writes mandarin too. *Shame on me*

It was only after all of us were grown up that we began to elaborately celebrate Mother's Day, her birthday... and "no fucking excuse just bring mommy out for dinner day". She was close to my younger sister - yen yen. They spent alot of time cooking and baking. Somehow, it was my younger sister who managed to form the strongest bond with my mother.

Brother is a dead beat bum. We're never close. He managed to hunt me down to a shop that I had in tampiness after 7 years of not seeing or speaking to each other. Reason? He needed to borrow $1,700. He opened up a folded piece of paper, and showed me what the money was for. he was with his fat assed wife (my mother didn't like her in the first place) I said ok, I'll transfer the money. The conversation went like this (FYI, I was with a friend who couldn't believe that Jeff was my brother. No "Hi How are you?" Nothing):

Jeff - Jeremy, do you have $1,700?
Me - Depends. Why?
Jeff - I need it to pay fines *showing me the list of items, mostly traffic police composition fines and parking summons*
Me - Ok, I'll transfer
Jeff - Thanks

The actual conversation between 2 brothers who've not seen/heard for 7 years went this way. But then again, he is my brother. If I have the means, whatever the amount, I should just help out. I place no value on money. Well.. he seemed to know my weakness to kin. The amount went up to $70,000 at one time (not the total amount he owes me- at one time he borrowed that amount).

Incidentally, he was the reason I started Serengeti Designs & Consulting Pte Ltd - an interior design firm. He had a run in with his boss then. And it became ugly. Fact is, he borrowed money from this guy... but never returned even when he left. Think the amount was $3,000 or something. Anyway, Jeff called me and told me that someone was threatening him. He gave me the address of this person and I went over to his boss's house... alone.

Me being me, I banged up the house and gave everyone a scare. What was said did not matter. I setup this company for my brother to manage. Incidentally, he was a bankrupt and finding a job was difficult. The least I could do was set him up for something. Unfortunately, his old ways of spending that got him into trouble in the first place resurfaced. But this time, he was spending company's money. And I still didn't know that he took money from his ex-boss. I filed a corruption order in CPIB against him. This was too much. We were profitable the very first week we were in business. And we managed to get some high-profile clients. Jeff, if you're reading this, I still love and care for you. but your ways must stop.

I took over and managed it myself from then. I knew nothing about the business. I was only in charge of sales and marketing. My team of contractors guided me along the way. Til today, I am still grateful to them. That is why, no one today pays my contractors' the amount I pay them for a single job. People in the industry calls me stupid. But I know my debt of gratitude can never be paid with cash. They could've easily suckered me. But these men with tattoos stuck with me. My brother took the money that was due to them (Industry standard is 20% deposit for a job and then progressive payments. I pay 50% down, and and additional 10% of contracted price if the job is completed before the dateline. And my datelines are very luxurious.) In the end, many of them, as a last resort saw me. I was ashamed. Not because of what my brother did, it was just that I had let them down. Till today, I maintain my Team A contractors. We never speak of price till the day the job is delivered. These are the most loyal people the face of this earth has ever seen. And I am proud to be associated with them.

Ironically, I only became a business owner when I came back a couple of years ago. I was never like the rest of my family, going into the family business of F&B / catering. I would be what you call a black sheep. No one would talk to me, well because I never came back... even on CNY. I preferred to be by myself. I got back in April 2004. My first business was registered in October. Then another, then another. My passion was never in the businesses I did. Too technical for me. I prefer sales and marketing. I prefer to outline strategies and execute them. That is why, the businesses that I enter are all highly competitive. I try to put my money where my mouth is... I choose to go into the most saturated industries. That is where the fun lies...

Having said all that... this is really just a glimspe of my life. I think everyone's life is interesting. We all have our shadows as we do our cherished memories. What I miss most being back here are my friends. Last year, I attended 2 funerals. One in Jakarta, the other in Medan. My friends are old... and I do miss them terribly. Even at their age, they still know how to have a good time. We have a ball in Singapore or Indonesia when we all get together. Anyway, it does seem that today's entry is kinda boring. Well, not everyday is a Sunday... as they say.

Allah please bless each and everyone of us. Show us Your infinte love & mercy. I ask that You bless the people who are vocationed in Your service. Give wisdom to the governing body MUIS to grant all of them a "Vocation Day" or something like that. You know what I mean. Amin.

jahwsl
04 Oct 06'