A Great Man Deserves A Great Funeral

I cry till today for Ya'akub. Not so much so for what's happened. But whether he wished for me to carry him from the hospital all the way to the grave, and finally, me burying him and be the last one out of his grave. Astafrullah. I seek forgiveness for everything I've done that may have displeased him in death.

I feel horrible not knowing. It's been a long day since Sat when I arrived at the hospital. All those times, I was still thinking that he would pull through. I comforted Su saying with the type of personality he had, he was not gonna give in.

My rememberance of him, in life, was this guy, like me, always had his way. In a way, we were both able to laugh about it and share personal moments with the knowledge of our personalities. In life, I would probably hate him, but I wouldn't know. In death, I knew I cried for the loss of such a great man. The truth is evident. He had a tournout of 500 people on the day of his death and the biggest entourage in the cemetary.

Ya'akub, to me, was a grown man who more or less knew what was happening around him, regardless of his medical condition. He understood his daily routine, he knew when to expect a massage, he knew when I would fool around with him... he knew when I was having a fight with Su.

The last time Su & I had an arguement, he stared at me. I stared back, like I would do to most people. He didn't flinch. Like me, he knew that Su's a naughty and stubborn girl. And like me, he wanted to protect his favourite daughter. We're both alike in that aspect. Baring the choices we both made in life were different altogether. He studied and believed in education. I did not.

Ya'akub, I do not know you well, and I do not like you one bit. But I've always treated you fairly and as best I could. Insya Allah, you will feel that. I know you wouldn't like me to be your son-in-law as well. But we'll never know for sure now.

I ask for your forgiveness for being there when I probably shouldn't. My role shouldn't have been there for me in the first place. I know you wished to have someone you'd known. I am sorry buddy. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me.

But know one thing for sure, you may never be my father-in-law, but you'll always be my buddy. Rest in Peace my friend. Allah is Merciful and Gracious and He knows you've suffered for so long a time. Insya Allah, we'll meet again when the time comes. I'll never forget you. Suraya is my responsibilty now. Do not worry. Insya Allah, I'll give her the same and more of the love you gave her, and provide for her a comfortable life. Pray for me that I do. Insya Allah.

jahwsl
1102
06 Feb 07'