Faithfully

Alhamdulilah! A seemingly slow start to the day ended with triumphs all around! When it all seems so dull... Alhamddulilah! I was shown the light of His Generosity! Alhamdulilah! I prayed so much that tears were dripping! *Ok... pai seh... exaggerated a little bit*

Was at TTSH this morning. Ok, me is a volunteer with the Parkinson's Diesease Support Group. Today was a talk on excercise - in Mandarin. Su & I attended the session in English last month. Actually, the support group members consists of only 1 senior nurse and 1 admin staff. They give their time out to patients of this diesease through organising talks and activities (like going to the Zoo, Garden, Joo Chiat's Tiger Bar maybe?). Alhamdulilah! I've made so many friends today!

In the morning, before the talk started at 930am, I was in-charged of patient registration. Ms. Minder ("Mean-der") was my partner. Anyway, it was fun, asking patients to write down their names and NRIC number. The talk was free for members. Non-members had to pay $2. We collected $54! Wow! I was the "Money Man"! Yeah! I like!

When the talk started, I thought it best to stay out at the counter for a bit, just in case. And there were alot of people who were late. the talk shouldn't have started right on the dot lah! Alhamdulilah! Everyone had the chance to do actual excercise! Yeah! Me too!!! For parties who came late, I shouted behind the counter: "Auntie/Uncle ah! Lai ting jiang ah?!" Loosely translated, it means "Auntie/Uncle ah! Here for the talk ah?!". I got them to register, then showed them to the meeting room. Even when the talk started for a half hour, I'll tell them it's just started, so not to discourage them.

One thing I've learnt during my short three hours there. These people are strong. They refused wheel-chairs or help to stand or walk. Alhamdulilah! What courage! It's the care-givers whom are having trouble. Poor thing. Acceptance sometimes come a little later. Sigh... sometimes it takes years. I gather this from the conversations with some of them. Insya Allah, they'll grow to accept that it's part of life. Buddha said that the cycle of life consists of Birth, Old Age, Sickness & Death. No one can escape this. Insya Allah, we will all have the strength to face the future. Insya Allah!

Alhamdulilah! I made so many new friends! The staff there, the patients, the care-givers! Alhamdulilah! They were all waiting for someone just to speak to them, to show some concern, to just touch their hands. Insya Allah, I will continue to do this. Insya Allah, I will have the strength, tolerance, patience and all the virtues to be a source of help to these people. Insya Allah!

I picked Su up from her course later, at about 1pm. We were supposed to meet her mother, so that I can ask for her hand in marriage. Alhamdulilah! It's not as bad as we both thought it would be! Alhamdulilah!

And guess what?! I rented a room near her place in a private apartment! Alhamdulilah! Wonderful! How can I not love God for what He has done?! Alhamdulilah!!! It's cheaper than I expected! Wow!!! And it's walking distance to Su's house! Alhhamdulilah!!!

I have been so so touched by everything's that happened. Truly.

There were so many "firsts" since I've been in CG. I've prayed my first Friday Prayer in Ba'alwi. I learnt to be more forgiving. I learnt to me more humble. I've seen people for who they really are! Alhamdulilah! I would forever be indebted to Fauz for all that she has taught me. I pray that Allah would bless her with all things good! I passed my conversion test! Alhamdulilah! There's just so many memories here! Insya Allah, I will continue to experience such magical wonders! And now it seems, I've been introducing myself as Amir Hamzah! Alhamdulilah! Sometimes the "Jeremy" do come out, but I hope to be called Amir/Hamzah. Amir Hamzah. Mak Long calls me "Amir"!

I look forward to being married to Suraya. Suraya Ya'akub Wong. I like the sound of it. Insya Allah, it'll not take too long! Su & I both decided that her dad should stay with us. Su'll not work full-time. Insya Allah, we can get by. She'll look after her dad. I'm thinking of asking my grandparents to stay with me too. Insya Allah. I've not been a good son, nor a good person for that fact. I hope that this time, it'll be different. Insya Allah.

I've been a sinner through & through. I've neglected things that were important. I've neglected to live life as what Allah would want. I've failed as a citizen, a person, a son, a boss, a worker. I hope and pray every so hard everyday that I would be a better muslim & person. Insya Allah. For all of you reading this, I pray for you too. For I am grateful for your prayers to Suraya & myself. Insya Allah, all our prayers would answered. I am as touched as I am grateful.

jahwsl
11th Nov 06'
0858

Still Road

This is one of the loveliest correspondences that I have so far with Su! Insya
Allah, there will be more:

***************************************************************

dearest dear dada..
your words move me.. i m totally speechless...

my love for u cannot never be greater than
Allah's...but it has grown stronger throughout the
months. 

communicating with you has been easier each day and
thank u for all the patience u have for me. I do find
a lot of challenges explaining myself clearly. i do
know that i wear u out too. but thank u for being o
kind and patient to me..


nothing could replace the words and the formalities
that we went through my mum today.  I just cannot
believe it that we are going to be together.. Insya
Allah...

Alhamdullilah.. the discussion with mum went on well.

Alhamdullilah today u got a room!! i can visit u!!
Yeay!!

Alhamdullilah we are going to be near by!!

I cant wait to discuss more about the wedding plans. 

please let me help you with the planning and sourcing?


i too never fought so hard with my inner demons and
for you to keep this relationship alive1

i just didnt want to give up on u! never!!

let's pack up n move to still road on sunday! i will
be there early tomorrow1 Insya Allah..


love u!!
Suraya

--- "Jeremy A.H. Wong" <jeremy_wongsl@yahoo.com.sg>
wrote:

> My dearest Suraya,
>
> I think that the day for our union, Insya Allah, is
> drawing near. You asked me today whether I am
> excited. And I said I wasn't. I hope the answer did
> not disappoint you. The impending events that we
> both would have to go through excites me not.
> Rather, it is the formalisation of us being
> together, as a couple that I look forward to. Insya
> Allah, we would be a couple soon.
>
> I've always treated you as my wife from the first
> time you said you would commit to me. I lie not. My
> world has been bright because of you. Alhamdulilah!
> You've taught me how to pray. Insya Allah, we will
> both pray together! Insya Allah, our children would
> be trained to lead the community in the religious
> profession! Insya Allah, we as parents would give
> them the neccessary tools, encouragement and means
> to succeed in this holy work!
>
> I love you Suraya Ya'akub Wong! Insya Allah, you
> would use that name. Mrs. Wong. I love the sound of
> it! Insya Allah!
>
> The change in me is by and large due to you darling.
> I am so so proud of you. I am even prouder of you
> for not changing the person that you are!
> Alhamdulilah! I fell in love with you because of
> your ways. Insya Allah, we will be true to
> ourselves.
>
> Alhamdulilah! Allah has given me yet time and again
> the measured strength to carry on in this
> relationship. Never once have I ever wanted anyone
> as badly as you. Never have I tried to keep anyone
> as hard as I tried to keep you (interested).
>
> Insay Allah, I hope this mail finds you well rested.
> Insya Allah, we will have a fruitful meeting later
> in the day. I love you Suraya. I truly do.
>
> I pray for us each and everyday. I thank Allah every
> day. Alhamdulilah! I want you to be my wife, so that
> I can love you the way you deserved to be loved
> darling.
>
> jahwsl
> 11th Nov 06'
> 0220

*************************************************************

jahwsl
11th Nov 06'
1835

Edit HTML

I truly believe in "Fardu Qifayah" (is the spelling correct?). If as muslims, our sense of community is strong, then why are there people who have a string of children who cannot even manage their own lives properly? Does the religion advocate this? I highly disagree. This is when goodwill has been abbused.

I read with interest that one of the "best mother" award went to this lady who had four children. All of whom are graduates. It was a television program. Can't really recall if her husband divorced her or passed away. It protrayed an enactment of their lives.

They were poor folk. Sometimes, they didn't even have enough money to eat, or pay their electricity bills. But what really struck me was that she didn't try hard (in my opinion). She stayed home to look after the children. Of course there were bursaries that she relied on to get them through school. So, cost of education wasn't that big a worry. It was really the daily substinence. Sardonistically, I feel that it was her children who deserved the award, not her. They are much stronger. Given the situation, most children would just give up. They persevered and went through the tough times with her. She dragged them. They are the true heros. Not her.

Find work, give up one of your kids, learn to work from home or have a small business. These are all options. Instead of saying how uneducated she herself was (I'm not saying that she said it), or not having a business mind (which I find totally crap), learn a skill and make a living out of it. Not expecting or asking for handouts. And yes, she did say she was grateful for all the help she got. Alhamdulilah!

But really, how difficult is it to look after four school going children? Is it more difficult that racking your brains to find out how to earn more money to give them a better life? Is it more important to spend time and encourage your children to be successful? Well, it may be. But how successful are your children? Do they give back to society? Do they give their time, effort, love to people who are old, alone, destitute, in need of care? Then, in my humble opinion, she didn't really do a good enough job.

We must try and try and try our best to educate our community, our fellow men. Fardu Qifayah should not only stop with muslims. It should be shared by the community. Give till it hurts, for the true reward does not lie in the ability to purchase a high priced car, apartment or lifestyle.

We all talk. And we do little. I am equally guilty of it. The youngsters hanging out under the void deck. How many of us would just walk away. Or gossip when they turn out to be gangsters, snatch thiefs, bums? The reality is that we fool ourselves by comforting us that it is because of their poor upbringing. That they've mapped out the path themselves. Wrong. It is our poor upbringing if we speak in this way. Insya Allah, I will do my best to help. Insya Allah!

I seek peace, just like anyone else. But satan's always hanging around. Those who've given in to him are suffering. Deffered gratification. Suffer now, enjoy later. Enjoy now, you may not be able to hold on to what you have, and I'm not talking only about the physical needs or wants.

The truck driver who spends his time catching Zzz during the time when he should be working should not complain that his salary is low. The manager who pushes his work to that of his subordinates should not complain that his hours are long when he occasionally goes into extra time. The boss who is a slave-driver to his workers should not detest of the high taxes that he is paying.

The road sweeper who clears clogged drains, the fireman who risks his life, the soldier who dies during a training excercise. These are the heros. We hardly remember them. The road sweeper ensures that our cleaniness and hygenic needs are met so that we can go on our lives without much hindrence to floods or mosquitoes. The fireman braves flames to save another life. A soldier pushes himself to the limit so that he may save our lives and property. Alhamdulilah!

We all have a part to play, and play it well we should. I strive to lead by example. I strive to be a better person. I am human. I am flawed. But I must stay true to my natural disposition. I must stay the course. For what is a few short years on earth compared to the "korner" I would get to relax in His Promise? Insya Allah!

jahwsl
0149
11th Nov 06'

Why I converted...

Most people seem to have the idea that it is better for a non-believer to convert because he believes in the religion. As noble as it may seem, I cannot help but personally feel that it's wrong. It is not better. In fact, it is worse.

Why? Well... how many of us actually go in-depth to learn about another religion? For argument's sake, there are some actually, and some of them people whom I personally know. But the objectives are somewhat different. For example, a Christian friend of mine reads countless book on Buddhism, Hiduism, Islam, etc. One may find his actions thoughtful and noteworthy. The question really lies in his objectives. He reads not to learn about the other religion. He reads so that he can affirm his own belief in his own religion. He's the type of person I would term "shallow", despite the pages of books that have seen better users. Ok, now I am judging him. I prefer to call it an "observation".

He does not go deep into thought when reading a "competitor's" book. Instead, he searches for loop-holes, practises, etc, so that he can use (or misuse) whatever minute piece of information he's gained to promote his teaching. Now... having said that, let us all remember, "A little Knowledge is a Very Dangerous Thing".

I converted not because I believe. Heck! I'm in love!

In most of my life, I've always made the best of any situation (I hope). From the very beginning, I've been pretty sure Su's the one for me. Well then, the natural progression would be to convert. Yes. I happily converted a few months after meeting Su for the first time. Why the haste? Su has been asking me that for the longest time. I think she just loves my answer. In fact, she tried to dissuade me countless times, asking me to take the BCI first.

Here it goes...

I believe in two things. Sincerity & Ability.

I try placing myself in Su's shoes.
Now, here's I've a guy who's insterested in me. I do not know how this relationship would turn out, neither do I know how far/long it'll go.

Me, well... the first step, to prove my sincerity would be to convert. Hey! Aren't I jumping into it? I've a groupmate in Befrienders who said that he attends classes so that he himself would be convinced about the righteousness of the religion.

Honestly, that thought has never crossed my mind. That I've to be convinced of the greatness of the religion. All right... It's great if I am convinced. If not? What's gonna happen? Am we both going to carry on with this relationship? It's all nonsense to me. If you love a person, you do anything out of free-will. Never ever fuck yourself that you're important. If what I've written, or am gonna to write does not agree with you. I'm sorry. It's never my intention to belittle your already low self-esteem and IQ. Neither do I mean to burst your deeply inflated egos. Maybe it's time you logged off from your life and start living like a REAL person. Again, my apologies.

Anyway, I've been attending catholic churh masses (daily & obligatory) for a long time now. Am I suppose to forgo all I've accepted? I was even made the President of the Catholic Students Society back in school. If I were to use my intellect, me converting would never happen. Why? Because my strong beelief in my religion would never allow my intellect into the picture.

It's like feeling hurt when someone tells you that your mother's ugly. You know she's ugly. But she's also your mother, and she's the prettiest person in the world and you'd want to protect her in that sense. Makes sense right? Of course it does! It's from me!

I see the way Su lives her life and I see the reflection of her God. And I will always remember what she told me about they beauty of Islam; " If you love me, you will have to love my God. Because I live in the light of my God". Alhamdulilah! What romantic words! Alhamdulilah!

Therefore, isn't that proof enough that the religion is what it should be? True and strong and right and all things good? I love Su and I've seen the good in her. Therefore, the truth is evident. I am grateful that I understand that every family should be built on the rock solid foundation of religion. And that's what I would like to achieve, Insya Allah!

If you need to find out more about the religion so that you can do it out of free-will, you're only fooling yourself. You're simply are not willing to sacrifice or commit. Therefore the excuse. Religion shouldn't be taken lightly. Neither should the santuary of love and marriage. So what would it be?

Again, these are only my RM 2 sens worth

jahwsl
0130
11th Nov 06'